What I want my ships to do:

• buy a kitten or a puppy or a turtle
• snuggle in a big blanket
• hold hands
• nibble on wristbones
• whisper into necks
• be lazy
• buy food
• feed each other gummy worms
• laugh a lot
• laugh more
• headbutts
• get really happy
• BANG
• eat hearty breakfasts like sausage and pancakes with syrup
• argue over which avenger is the hottest
• make scrapbooks
• visit family
• sing really loud in the car

cute nicknames for ur special someone:

- dumb dorito nerd

- angry triangle man

- preposterous polygon

- equilateral husband

- flying tortilla chip

- dorito demon

- billuminati

- geometric goober

- isosceles jackass

Bedroom

Your walls are pink.

You have a single-person bed.

You have lots of posters on your wall.

You sleep with pillows you made yourself.

Your closet is overflowing.

You have condoms/birth control in your dresser.

You have a yoga mat.

You have a full-length mirror.

You have drugs hidden away somewhere.

Hobbies/interests

You like artsy things.

…But you’re not the best artist.

You love to read.

You listen to music all the time.

You like to write.

You collect beer bottle caps.

Scrapbooking is amazing.

You love the beach.

You love to travel and want to see the world.

Astrology interests you.

Family

Your parents are still married.

You have a younger brother.

You’re the youngest girl in your family.

You enjoy family events.

You have relatives in another country.

Someone in your family is gay. (hint: its me)

You only have one living grandparent.

Overall you have a good relationship with your parents.

Someone in your family is estranged from the rest of you.

You have pets.

Friends

You don’t have many friends, but you’re very close to the ones you do have.

You have more than one best friend.

Almost all of your friends are in relationships.

You have a friend in the Marines.

You have a friend who is Russian.

You have a friend who is Persian.

You still have a close friend from elementary school.

You only have one virgin friend.

You’ve done illegal things with friends.

At least one of your friends has had a baby.

Music - you like/listen to any of the following artists

The Smiths.

The Rolling Stones

Andre Nickatina.

Stars.

Fleetwood Mac.

Atmosphere.

MGMT.

David Bowie.

Amy Winehouse.

Alice in Chains.

Moves - you like any of the following films

Candy.

Thirteen.

Donnie Darko.

Buffalo 66.

Fight Club.

Black Swan.

Mysterious Skin.

Sweeney Todd.

Kids.

Alice in Wonderland.

TV - you like/watch any of the following TV shows

Breaking Bad.

Louie.

Jersey Shore.

Project Runway.

16 and pregnant/Teen Mom.

Skins (UK version).

That 70’s Show.

Intervention.

South Park.

Family Guy.

Relationships/Sex

You’ve only had one genuine relationship.

You got your first kiss at 17.

You have rejected someone.

You plan on moving out with your partner someday.

You are not a virgin.

You have sex often.

You’ve spent the night with your significant other.

You have never cheated.

Your partner is much older than you.

You are on birth control. 

Random, so what’s in your purse today?

Receipts.

Birth control pills.

Mints.

Eyeliner.

Wallet.

Chocolate kisses.

Lighter.

Spare change.

Water bottle.

british person: *eats some brand of food* wow this tastes ok.

british person: wonder if theyve got this shit in america

british person: better make a tumblr post about this glorified piece of nutrition.

one solitary american: whats that

every single british blogger: omg no fukkin way mate how do u poor americans live without malt dipped paper wafers whooaaaah we’re superior *sings dr. who theme*

•It’s just past 11pm and Cosette’s light is still on in her bedroom. JVJ is about to knock to tell her to ‘go to sleep, she has school tomorrow’ but then he hears her talking.
•He overhears her sobbing to Éponine down the phone about how she’s ‘lying to PAPA, ÉP!’ and how she’s ‘such a terrible daughter oh my god…what if he wants to send me back to your parents?????’ and then ‘I can’t just come out! he’ll have a heart attack! He’ll never let you come over ever again! He’ll hate me forever! I won’t be his little girl anymore!’
•That night, he makes a call.
•The next day, he calls Éponine over for ‘afternoon tea’. She comes in all vampy and gothy and scary looking but JVJ still sees her as the little girl from the inn. He asks her to take a seat and then calls Cosette down.
• As Cosette and Épnine are settling down, wary and confused at the situation. JVJ walks in, a large rectangular box in hand; adorned with a huge pink ribbon and the words ‘FOR COSETTE’ on cursive written across the top
•’Cake’ he says, ‘to have with our tea’
•He places it on the table in front of her and motions for her to open it.
• In rainbow letters, across an iced Victoria sponge are the words ‘YOU’LL ALWAYS BE MY LITTLE GIRL’

is no one going to talk about how bo burnham guest starred on parks and rec as a 17 year old country singer 

why do greek gods have to fuck up so much shit god damn just stay on your mountain and eat your fucking ambrosia and leave people alone